Waiting... - City and Colour

Last day in Long Island for a little while, at least. Coming home on the 1100 ferry (Susan Anne). Long Island has been pretty rainy/overcast everyday so far, with maybe one exception where there was some blue sky. The second trip to the grocery store (a few days ago) saw a setting sun right on the horizon. When we first pulled out I thought the yellow/golden aura was just a mistake and did not look in that direction again for a few minutes. When I finally did, it was a beautiful sight, and there was something incredibly sad about it. I don't know why; I wasn't sad. But it just had a look to it, a certain feeling.

And I thought that scenes and beautiful things like that happen all over the world, and there are times and places when just one singular person sees something so beautiful and maybe sad. That singularity gives it an incredible sense of loneliness, but at the same time a very special, unique feeling. It's something I have always liked to call twilight sadness/happiness, depending on the mood, I guess. It's all ethereal and disconnected from reality, to an extent. But then again, it *is* reality, so it makes me question what reality is. Most of the time everyone defines it as the most practical, mundane, sane and concrete part of life. Like a 9-5 job, or going to see a movie, doing taxes, riding a bike, getting a bruise, making a call, digging a hole, building a house, etc... But I think reality has distinct qualities that are unexplainable, can only be experienced through feelings, intuitions, emotions, etc. The world is a very strange place, and I think that abstractness is not really embraced by people as a whole; it's too unsettling and uncomfortable. I think I live in and relish it too much for most people; I'm weird.

I realize my paragraphs are probably too long most of the time, but the typing window here is much wider than the final version in the blog, so I'm constantly being mislead! Sorry if it makes it daunting to read sometimes.

We got some Chinese food last night, it was pretty good. I'm starting to like and eat a lot wider variety of foods now. The lady at the restaurant (take-out only) speaks only so-so English, and they have you circle what you want on the menu. Made me think of my good Colby friends from China. <3

Another friend from all the way across the world seems to be in a slump, and has rather down/boredom-induced sadness. It seems that when people are left with nothing to do, their mind and mood kind of stagnates (this has happened to me before). It's weird seeing someone so sad and with such down-turned thoughts, as usually they would have always been me. But now I'm rather unbothered by a lack of activity, as it were. Even when I have nothing to do, and no motivation to start to do the things I say I want to do (restart a game, play a new game, write a story, write poetry, etc, etc), I don't mind. I can still simply sit there and just be content. Maybe browse some forums, definitely listen to some music (read: a lot), watch some TV (not that much), but just generally chill. (And I wish this girl all the best and hope she feels happy and better soon. Really, much <3)

I'm starting to become completely okay and nonchalant with where I'm headed (the thing I've always feared the most), and the fear is gone and I don't really care very much any more. It's funny that I always knew it would happen just like this, yet I won't (or can't?) stop it. But if I'm okay with it, then it really isn't too bad. It's just not what could have been, I guess?

I keep slowly adding to the scenes in this story I've been thinking of everytime I think of something that should fit. They're all pretty isolated from each other, but have the same theme, so it should make sure I give movement and action to the story so it doesn't suffer from lethargy and become ass boring. It still might, but I hope not!

I'm moving further away from the idea of verse dialogue, but right now it's still way too cute of an idea to drop. That's probably the only barrier between it being a serious endeavor and a more whimsical one. But poetry is just too high quality for me to disregard. Oh well!

I still need to write two letters (been meaning to for a while now!), so hopefully I do that either today or tomorrow. They're two very different letters, to two very different people! It should be an adventure doing them back-to-back.

I'll be back sooner or later!
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