Easter Weekend/Passover

This week went pretty well. I had a heck of a day Tuesday with homework (even Thursday to some degree), and I had a test in Linear Algebra on Wednesday (Excuse me, someone has told me to call midterms by their appropriate names, not just as "tests," in order to give them proper credit, I guess). My weeks seem to be pretty busy, but it's always alright and not too bad by the end of it.

I started playing Resident Evil 4 on the Game Cube today after watching Tim beat the entire thing on the hardest difficulty. It's pretty good, and still a bit of a challenge, even though I'm only playing on normal. Duncan and Francesco have been playing Final Fantasy 12 or 13 or something or other, and I kind of want to play that (I've only ever played the first one, I haven't been able to get into any of the other ones). The only problem is I don't really have that much time outside of homework to be playing all these different games at once (I'm still playing STALKER:SoC and FEAR 2 and GH:Metallica as well). That's pretty much the point of the weekend for me lately, though I should be doing more homework so I don't have to do as much during the week (yeah, right!). I guess I'm doing okay though, because I got a 47/40 on my math test, and did well on all my other recent midterms.

I'm checking out what courses to take for next semester, and I'm still deciding what actually to declare for my two majors/one minor. Physics is a major for sure, but I'm not sure what would be better to declare as my second major: religious studies or math? It doesn't *really* matter, because I'm going to be taking most if not all of the classes anyways, but I feel like whichever I choose for my major now will stay my major until graduation. I'm not as much worried about that as to whether or not I'll be willing to make the right compromises when it comes time to pick classes in future semesters (like, gopher the math class or the religion class that would take the same slot?). My advising dean said that I could consider an independent major, but that doesn't really work for me; I can't imagine any way that would make the situation better, because you can't combine math and religious studies. And math/science only makes me take math classes that are pertinent to physics, and I want to take legitimate, theoretical math courses.

It seems like it will just boil down to how I'm feeling at the moment I finally decide to go and push the buttons on the website. But at any rate, I'm still left considering taking the same classes for next year! I don't know the times of any of them yet, so I can't get a good feel for what would be definites versus ones I'd likely take later/not at all. For Physics is pretty simple, I have 241: Modern Physics I. It's the only class I can take without having had vector calc (it hurts, I know!). Which means that for math I'm considering: 302: Vector Calculus (it's offered fall and spring), 311: Introduction to Differential Equations (offered fall and spring), and 274: Introduction to Abstract Mathematical Thought (only fall). I need vector calc and diffeq's to do absolutely anything in physics (it's *already* keeping me from taking courses), so they're definites, although now that I look at the physics/math courses for the semester after that, it doesn't seem to matter which order I take them in (which is good, I need classes that give me options in scheduling). 274 is a definite for next semester, however, as it's only offered in the fall and I need it for pretty much every math course ever.

For religious studies it's much more open-ended, especially if I choose it to be my minor (slight tilt towards this? Not positive...). There's: 181: Conceptions of Jews and Judaism, 211: Religions of India, and then the second semester of my Biblical Hebrew independent study if my professor has enough time next semester. I'm also on the fence with the powers that be here at Colby as to whether I can get language credit for my independent study, which might affect the plausibilty of getting it all three semesters in a row. Which leads to the other possibilities for classes next semester...

Language classes! If I don't get Biblical Hebrew (or maybe even if I do!), I have the inkling to take some other language, if not to get my college language requirement fulfilled, then to have my personal language requirement fulfilled. (It wouldn't be a bad thing for me to major in languages in general - I'd love to be a translator) So basically my options are: Chinese, Greek, Italian and Russian for intro courses. To a lesser extent there's always German and Spanish, though I'm not as much interested in them, but they would not be uninteresting. There is also the possibility of me studying this summer my Latin and/or French and then retaking the Latin placement exam to get into third semester Latin (I definitely have the chops, just need to get the rust out), or possibly take the placement exam for French out and test out of my language requirement. I could always do both anyways just for the heck of it, and to see what options they give me.

I hear not amazing things about the Greek teacher, but this has never really deterred me from a class before; it can't be *that* bad that I wouldn't be able to learn the language and alphabet, which is my primary goal. I'm also a little on the edge with Chinese (Mandarin). It's a 5 credit course, so it's undeniably a lot of work and probably pretty hard. Another thing is I'm attempting to learn a little on my own (thx interwebz! u rox), which could hurt or help me if I decide to take it (like I can figure out how to pronounce and intonate all this stuff on my own???). It would be fun, but I don't like conversational languages too much (just the conversing part, I'm a shy person), and having to deal with intonation is a little daunting, considering next semester I'm taking at *least* 5 classes, if not petitioning to take 6. In that case, a 5 credit course would be a little iffy and likely end up on the cutting room floor. However, I've never been deterred by a challenge before, so it's always still in consideration. (The most likely thing that would affect whether or not I ultimately took it is WHEN it was scheduled)

All intro language courses seem to be 4-5 times a week, with sometimes a conversational class thrown in there to boot. This could be potentially dangerous to fit into my schedule, as it's going to be chock full already. However, it probably won't be *too* much of a problem, because these courses are usually really early in the morning. Which, quite honestly, is a bigger problem in itself. I don't like getting up early, because I go to bed late, because I like doing homework late. Especially next semester, I'm going to be doing homework until all hours of the night (and I won't even start late! I'll start right when I get out of classes, which will be late because I'll have so many! =P)

This leaves Italian and Russian as the most likely candidates (as to how much more likely than the others, not much, really). If I could fit any of them and I had to choose, I don't know what I'd choose, to be honest. Russian, Chinese and Greek all have new alphabets which I'd like to learn, Italian is a language I've always wanted to learn (it's close to home, I'm Italian and I've already taken a lot of Latin), Latin has always been near and dear to my heart, and French was my first foreign language. At the end of the day, there just isn't enough time to take everything I want to take. Ah well, there's always my ability to learn them on my own (it doesn't work out *that* well, but it's better than nothing), and there's always the summer where I can take additional courses.

I don't really know what I'm better at schoolwise. Physics/Math/English(Religious Studies - Essays and interpretations, analysis, it's a more in-depth English major focused on religion)/Languages. It's hard to say what's more fun - I've always loved physics and it's a joy to figure out problems after I learn things; math has always been fun in that it's a more fundamental type of physics, and now is starting to get considerably abstract, which is fine with me!; reading religious materials and writing about them is a whole lot of fun; and I've always adored languages - grammar, translation, differing thought patterns, etc. None of them is fun in the same way, which is why it's hard to compare.

Am I necessarily better at one than the other? Do I understand one area quicker than the other? I'm not so sure about that. I seem to take a keen understanding of each pretty quickly as they're taught to me, and when I don't understand I'm not afraid to brute force my way through it, because I enjoy it. Each area has its own set of difficulties/general work to push through - problems in problem sets, abstract ideas, essays and interpretation, vocabulary and grammar rules. While they may not be the most fun at the time, they're all so incredibly rewarding once worked on to a high degree.

I can't really ever decide between them, so up until this point I haven't really done that. And I can't see myself really choosing between them in the future - I'm resigning myself to 5, if not *6* classes! I'm a little off my rocker, to be honest. And for me, it's not too hard, it's just a lot of work. Am I willing to do all that work? If next semester is harder than this one (which it will be), then it's possible. I'm starting to get better habits for my work, simply because I need to or I wouldn't get it all done (and that's one thing I always try and do). (And for relational purposes, the mode for classes at Colby is 4 classes at 3-4 credits a piece. Some people do 3 if they have really hard classes. You're not recommended to do 5, and you're not allowed to go over 20 credits in a semester unless you petition for it. A lot of people I've talked to from other colleges have 5 classes, and quite honestly they don't seem to be nearly as much work as I am. Most of these classes are hard and not a joke, something I'd expect from a college that claims to be as good as it is, and costs as much as it does.)

If this sounds like I'm insinuating something, I am. I work hard. And I do it because I love that for which I am working. Am I the best at what I do? No. Do I do the best for what I want to do? Yes. And I always will. I fulfill myself, and my standards for myself are pretty high. That's why I'm usually one of the hardest workers in my classes, and it's why I've generally been a good student so far. I love to learn what I'm learning, so I'll work hard to make sure I learn it well. I've never wanted to be the best, but I'm slowly edging more towards the high end as I push myself harder and harder to incorporate more and more areas and classes into my life. Am I going to push myself too hard or too far? I don't think so, I don't think I can do that. I naturally get to points where I stabilize and say "I have no need to do more than this right now." But right now I'm not at that point, and I want to push harder, so next semester is going to be tough. I'm learning about myself as much as I'm learning about subjects and interesting ideas. I have a sharp and vivid edge of myself I haven't delved too deeply into figuring out, and now's as good a time as any to go exploring.

Where will the story of Todd go? Well, stay tuned and hopefully you can discover it at the same time as I do.

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